Feb 9
“I Want No Bodies on Me”
Journal Entry, February 8, 2022
Two days ago, at midnight, my 14-year-old granddaughter, Kamara, stepped to me with her latest pronouncement (these she makes routinely at this time of night, 1a, 2a and so on): “Papi, this girl is interested in me, but she has a body on her…” I could tell by the way she enunciated the words that “a body” was a technical term created by her generation (a Hip Hop term) describing some otherwise intelligible phenomenon.
In this circumstance, I, who believe myself to be a good teacher, listened. She went on to explain that another girl who was interested in her had “two bodies on her.” “Papi, as you know, I have no bodies on me, and I don’t want to get with someone who has bodies on them…” As it emerged from her testimony, “a body” meant prior sexual relations.
This lingo was somewhat parallel to the terms I’ve used to describe my situation at ages 14 and 15. I bemoaned the fact that my blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts in Skyview (upper middle class White neighborhood I was raised in as a child) were getting “action,” while I was getting “no action.” As I’ve mentioned before (“Aretha was my first Girlfriend,” Medium.com), this concept was diseased, in that it objectified girls and relationships into things.
Kamara’s concept of “bodies” is less prejudiced from this angle: “Action” was weighted heavily towards “sexual intercourse.” In this iteration 55 years later, it is more generally “being sexual,” without the prejudice in favor of one sexual act — by this measure it is a little less objectifying.
(My dear Comrade Abdul-Jalil, 70-years old, has reminded me that at an earlier time, having “a body on you” meant that you had killed someone, and having two bodies meant that you had killed two people…)
In my seventieth year on the planet, I have been granted the assignment of first responsible when it comes to the sexual education of my granddaughter. This because (1) my people, her Mother, her Grandmother, and her Auntie know that I am deeply versed in this area, and (2) it’s time for me to do some work, they have other things to do… (I may be sharing this spot of “first responsible” with Kamara’s father Cherise).
“Papi, to tell you the truth, I want no bodies on me until I’m married…” Think about being a grandfather in this culture, and your granddaughter tells you that she does not want to be sexual until it is with the person she marries? I’m overcome with joy.
And I’m also overcome with joy that I am available to talk with my granddaughter about… love. None of my “teachers” when I was 15, not Lester (the Molester), not my male friends, had a word to say about love. My parents were not bad people, but both were sexually abused in their respective childhoods, both were deeply repressed sexually. Their “teachings” at their best, consisted of living vicariously through me, and cheering me on as I “sowed my wild oats…” — this is terminology of their generation, not a conscious aspiration of mine (and, they did not actually say these words to me…)
Being able to speak with my granddaughter about love is revelatory. We are living by spiritual principles today, and what spiritual principle is more important than love?
Finally, in this same direction, her determination “I want no bodies on me,” brings back that of Curtis Mayfield, another lover of humanity, whose song “No Thing on Me,” can be found in the music collection website ALLSONGSFORFREE.COM: curtis mayfield — No Thing On Me (Cocaine Song) — Superfly — YouTube
The oppressed are the ones
Who have suffered the most,
Coast to coast.
Now our lives are in the hands
Of the pusherman,
We break it all down
In the hopes that you may understand
How to protect yourself.
Don’t make no profit for the man…
I’m so glad I’ve got my own,
So glad that I can see.
My life’s a natural high,
The man can put no thing on me.
I’m so glad I’ve got my own,
So glad that I can see.
My life’s a natural high,
The man can put no thing on me.
Sure if funky, sure is funky.
And I ain’t no junky. I ain’t no junky.
Sure is funky, sure is funky,
And I aint no junky. I aint no junky
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Preview YouTube video curtis mayfield — No Thing On Me (Cocaine Song) — Superfly
